


Heather

by The_GrxyWxrxn_91



Category: All For The Game
Genre: F/M, Jean doesn’t know what’s going on, Jeremy is a simp, M/M, Renee Walker is Heather
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_GrxyWxrxn_91/pseuds/The_GrxyWxrxn_91
Summary: You gave her your sweaterIt’s just polyesterBut you like her betterWish I were... Renee Walker?Jeremy wishes he was Renee, whom gets to bask in all of Jean’s affection
Relationships: Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Renee Walker / Jean Moreau
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Heather

Jeremy sat, shivering and huddling close to himself. The fire was starting to die down as the Trojans dispersed instead of attempting to revive it. 

Jeremy didn’t want to sleep yet. It was only eleven at night, the last night of the team vacation before they all split up for their families and Christmas. 

3rd of December, chilly and dark, even on one of the many beaches in California. 

Jean Moreau, now a year with the Trojans and pretty much fully integrated, was the only one left with Jeremy around the fire. He wasn’t shivering. He was used to the cold, thanks to Evermore, but also thanks to his sweaters and coat. 

“Jean!” Jeremy whined, teeth chattering. Jean chuckled with a shake of his head, a cheeky smile on his face. “It’s so cold, out so more fire on!” 

Instead, Jean shrugged off his coat and pulled off his top sweater. It was his team on, a golden 29 on the breast and large on the back. Jean handed it over to Jeremy while putting the heavy coat on again. 

Jeremy took it, hoping the dark worked in his favour by hiding his rosy cheeks. He wiggles into it, part of him wanting to save the moment and the other wanting to hide from the French man. 

It smelt strongly of Jean, which often varied depending on what mood he was in. It had many of those layers, all unique and all Jean. Under the arms smelt of Exy practice, musky and masculine. The dip of the throat smelt of fancy colon, from too many failed dates. The ribs smelt of popcorn and mint from movie nights in their dorm. The hood was strong with shampoo and conditioner, a sweet fruit smell. 

Jeremy’s head popped out and he wanted to go right back, because Jean was watching him fondly. 

Jean said, “It looks better on you than it does me.” 

Jeremy smiled, words trapped in his chest, hands clammy so he gripped the too long sleeves. 

If only you knew how much I liked you...

Jeremy opened his mouth, thinking maybe he could tell Jean every thought he had whenever he smiled, breathed, laughed. 

Unfortunately, Jean’s phone vibrated in his hand. Piercing through the innocent smiling the two were sharing. 

“Sorry, I’ve got to take this.” Jean stood and walk off towards their tent. Grin bigger than the one he gave Jeremy. Eyes brighter than the ones that watched Jeremy. “Hey, Renee.”

Ah, Renee. Of course. He remembered picking Jean up from the airport a year ago. Renee had been there. Jeremy knew instantly that they had something. Jean leant his too large, too tall body on the petit girl who held him protectively. The easy in which Jean let her touch him was more telling than anything. 

Back then it didn’t mean anything to Jeremy, Jean was just a project to fix and help. Now, it meant everything. 

Renee was so perfect. She was lovely. She was caring. She was beautiful. She was everything Jean needed and Jeremy envied her in everything she did. They had seen each other a month ago. She was such a sight for sore eyes. Smiling softly with open arms as Jean quickened his pace to reach her across the train platform. 

Her grin was always brighter than a blue sky. 

The three had sat in a booth at a small coffee shop, Renee talking about charities and the foxes latest chaos or something else entirely. Jean was mesmerised, smiling, nodding, laughing. Jeremy sat beside him, silent, dying. 

He had yet to make Jean burst out laughing, throwing his head back and bellowing like he couldn’t hold it back even if he tried. Renee always seemed to be able to do that. 

Jeremy shook his head. He wouldn’t wallow in self pity again. He promised himself not to kill himself over it. 

He picked himself up and made his way into the tent. Jean was off the phone. He was still smiling. 

“Renee and I are going to go to Paris for Christmas.” He said, putting his phone into his bag. Jeremy almost sobbed. 

“That’s so great.” He said instead. He quickly got into bed. “Make sure to send photos.” Then he turned over and pretended to sleep. A few tears fell over his nose, into his hair. Silently, he cried. 

It must have been half an hour until Jean realised the sniffs Jeremy was producing weren’t from a blocked nose. 

“Jer?” He whispered. He drove a knife further into Jeremy’s chest, that soft whisper of his nickname. Jean touched his shoulder softly, pushing him down onto his back. At the sight of his tears, Jean frowned. 

“Just leave it.” Jeremy snapped. He hid his wet face behind his hand and tried to roll back and away but he wasn’t allowed. “It’s just anxiety, leave it.”

Jean had a concerned look on his face. He came down on his elbow, the were close. Much too close. Breathing the same air, close. 

“Did you take your medication?” He asked, little more than a whisper. His scarred fingers taking the tears away. The irony almost made Jeremy laughed. 

“Yeah...” Jeremy forced his eyes to stay away from Jeans lips. That didn’t stop his mind from entertaining the idea of just lifting his chin a bit, brushing them together. 

“Okay...” Jean was so quiet, it was more of a sigh than a word. 

“Okay...”

Jean smiled a bit. 

So close. 

Just right there. They could kiss right now. Jeremy’s eyes slid down to the cupid’s bow, the soft pink upper lip, the small gap between the two, the thick and smooth bottom lip. 

Somehow, Jeremy wasn’t looking at them anymore, but touching them with his own. Jean’s breathed hitched, he froze. Of course he did. Jeremy hadn’t asked. Stupid. 

He was going to pull back, apologise and pretend to be asleep. However, Jean fit his hand over the back of his head, taking the thick golden hair between his fingers and kissing him back. 

Jean was kissing him back. 

It felt like heaven on earth. Soft, easy, nice. Slow. Just like how Jeremy dreamt it would feel. Jean’s skin was freezing and Jeremy’s was boiling, but together they were balanced. 

They didn’t go any further than neck kisses, just Jeremy laying under Jean who had his forearms either side of the others head. 

It probably meant nothing to Jean, but it meant everything to Jeremy. Why would Jean ever kiss him? He wasn’t even half as pretty as Renee. 

It finished slowly, but when it did they both went back to their respected sleeping bags and slept back to back. It stung that it was a throw away thing, but Jeremy was thankful for even that. 

——

When Jeremy has said to send photos, he didn’t really mean it. Jean thought he had so he was sending hundreds. 

At cafes, the Eiffel Tower, museums, art galleries, their hotel. 

Jean was happy, painfully so, while Jeremy miserably dealt with his overwhelming family. Be it the conservative grandparents or the playful cousins, it was all too much for a heartbroken Jeremy to deal with. 

He thought he had had the worst of it, being that it was the day they were coming back, but he was wrong. 

Them, sitting in the seats at the airport, waiting for their flights. Jean with hot chocolate on his nose and Renee with the 29th team hoodie on. 

Jeremy had worn that hoodie a night not too long ago to protect him from the cold. He knew how it smelt. The way it dropped off the shoulders and dangled from the wrists. The stitching off the front pocket was fraying. 

Jean just let her wearing it without thinking about Jeremy. How could he not think about everything from that night. 

It’s just polyester 

But Jean likes her better. 

“I wish I were Renee.” He whispered to himself, eyes stinging. 

“What was that?” His father calls from the oven, apron on and mittens old enough to have seen Hitler in person. 

“Nothing.” Jeremy stood, knowing he won’t be able to hold his tears back for long. “I’m not hungry. I’m going to my room.” 

His dad knew something was wrong, it was obvious, but he was smart enough not to pry. However, he must have sent his sister in because an hour later Jasmine came in. He embarrassingly cried on her chest until dinner. 

——

A joint practice. 

How could Jeremy say no? It was Kevin Day asking after all. He knew that it would be difficult, not even seeing Renee and Jean together, the Foxes were just difficult in general. 

Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard were in an argument of some sort, which was the most painful part of the whole day. Andrew refused to block the goal and Neil refused to ask him. 

During breaks Jean would drape his arm over Renee’s shoulder and they’d talk in hushed voices about something which would make Jean fluster adorably. They had the bravo to talk like that in front of everybody. It made Jeremy angry. He was never angry but in that moment he was rattling with it. 

It was Allison’s idea to go out clubbing that night. Nobody disagreed. They went to a club called Edens that all the foxes seemed to be familiar to. 

Jeremy like it. It wasn’t as good as some of the crazy clubs he had been too back in California, but it was still pretty good. 

Jeremy very pointedly stopped himself from looking at Jean and Renee’s intertwined fingers throughout the whole night. 

When they left, it was freezing. He chartered away like that night on the beach, bones cold all the way through. 

“Jeremy.” Renee smiled at him when she noticed him trembling in the back seat of her car. “I’ll turn the heater on.” 

She was such an angle, so kind and generous. No wonder Jean chose her over him. 

But then again, as they held hands over the glove box, he kind of wished she was dead. 

This anger lasted long after the Trojans left for their hotel and the Foxes for the dorms. Jean and Jeremy took to one room. One bed. It almost make Jeremy sob. Instead, he laughed. 

“I’ll take the couch.” Jeremy walked away, chest screaming. The couch was more of an arm chair and there was no way he could sleep on it, but anything was better than sharing a bed with the man he had come to love one-sidedly. 

His elbow was snatched and he was pulled right back to where he had been standing. Jean cupped the back of his head, like he had back in the tent, and kissed him. 

Jeremy wanted to scream so loudly he broke windows in planes on the other side of the world. But he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. Jean killed him by kissing him tenderly, fuck, even lovingly. He lowered a heartbroken blond to the mattress and took him apart further. 

After Jean had rolled over, blanket covering his bare skin, Jeremy snuck out to the balcony with Jean’s sweater and cried into it. His tears stained the print of a helmet and muffled his sobs.

The tears lasted hours or maybe it was only a few minutes of him curled up against the bars, smelling and weeping. 

He decided to spend the night in Lailas and Sara’s room because he was going to die if he stayed. 

He cried some more in the girls room, but kept it quiet. 

The next day at breakfast, Jean didn’t say anything. He went straight to Renee like he hadn’t been caressing Jeremy instead of her last nigh. And everything was normal. 

——

It was another two months before Jeremy couldn’t take it anymore. 

They were constantly texting and calling and Jean was always so much happier with Renee. It was killing him. Physically, it was killing him. 

He couldn’t get out of bed, eat, sleep. 

His anxiety was wiring, killing him faster. 

It was all building up and building up until one day, there was no room left in his body for the disparate yearning.

He, as the captain, had a key to the court. It was too late for anyone else to be there so he decided to burn off some steam. 

He just kept slamming balls into the same spot on goal. His shoulders aches and his hands were cramping but he pushed past it in favour for more force. Faster. 

Hours of this went by, Jeremy’s teeth baring as his anger was expelled. Well, it was meant to be expelling but it just kept getting more dangerous. A scream was just behind his teeth. 

“Jeremy!” He hadn’t heard him approaching, but Jean knocked him over, shoving both of them to the ground. “You idiot, you know that’s risky. You could pull something.” 

They were in the same position as the night in the tent. It just lit the match to the fuel that was Jeremy’s rage. 

He shoved him off, harshly. He promised he wouldn’t be harsh on Jean, but he pushed him so hard he smashed back. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Jeremy cried, picking up his stick. He scooped up another ball and threw it down court, hitting just off the target. “Fuck!” He scooped up another one. Just off again. Again and again and again. Until Jeremy was trembling, not with the cold this time, but frustration. 

“Jer! Stop it!” Jean grabbed his arms, held him close. He thought this could calm Jeremy down, didn’t he? He always had before, when his anxiety spiralled. Now it made things so much worse. Jeremy thrashed. “Your meds? When was the last time-“

“I said get off.” Jeremy cried, eyes filling up with that familiar sting. “Don’t Touch me when you only thinking of her. Get off. Or I’ll tell her everything!” 

This was the first time either of them had spoken about the tent or the hotel. 

Jean froze. 

“Jeremy?” He said. “Tell who?”

“Renee!” Jeremy shoved himself away. “I’ll tell her about the kisses and...I’ll tell her about the hotel!” He was crying. He was yelling. He was dying. 

“Jeremy,” Jean held his face but he tore away, “what are you talking about?” 

Had he forgotten? Was it because he was drunk and he had forgotten? 

“Why...” Jeremy looked at him, voice quiet and howling in pain, “would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater-“

“It’s just polyester!” Jean argued. 

“But you like her better.” Jeremy almost crumbled. All this heartache that had been festering inside of him for close to a year was strangling him. “I wish I were-“

And Jean pulled him back, kissed him hard and held him close. He had cut Jeremy off but Jeremy didn’t move to continue his sentence. 

“It’s you Jer, not Renee, you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day!


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